Captain Planet!

I thought this crap was off the air, but I guess not. Check out the Hitler clip in the cue after the theme song finishes to see what utter rubbish this show was/is. First of all, what's up with Hitler's mustache? What are they worried about, copyright infringement? This show sucks. The heavy-handed commentary is obtuse, and the never-say-die commitment to milk out as many puns/minute reminds me of bad action movies in the 80's. Pretty much this show is the reason I don't recycle. (In fact, even at home I use plastic cups both so that I don't have to wash them, and so that I can throw away more plastic.) CP only came on for a season or two in Germany, and then we got the cool shit, like Gasthaus.

But back to Captain Planet, I went to a game the other night and there in front of the escalator was CP. Wow! Really? CP, "What the fuck are you doing here?" and "I wish I had my camera" rose in tandem.

So, around the corner was a woman with a table and literature set up asking little kids, "Do you wanna be a Planeteer?" She never addressed their parents, she targeted little kids to get the parents to stop while the kids signed up on some clipboard and presumably gave over their phone numbers, addresses, and shit like that. I don't know if there was any cost, but it got me to thinking...

What's up with this cartoon franchise? Are they linked up with some larger anti-corporate green militant movement? They aren't interested in kids when they're posted up in an arena, they're looking for parents. If you're looking for kids, set up a website and tell kids about it during and after your cartoon. Have links to your site on your toys and paraphernalia that you give away at schools when your guy in a CP suit comes to speak at the auditorium. Post up to snag kids while their parents/guardians are on their way to catch a game? You're hunting the adult of the species.

So, curious- I stood and watched for a long time. Like over 10 minutes long time. No one stopped. She was able to grab a couple of kids, but their parents whisked them away. Finally, a Black man with 3 young girls stopped. None of the girls looked over 9, and what was curious was that he proceeded to have a conversation with this white woman, not about the planet or the environment, but that this is what it means to be a good father. Look at what a great father he is by getting his girls involved (involved in being on a mailing list) from a young age. When sporadically, he would turn to his girls he would say things like, "That's right girls, you have to be involved and know what's going on." He didn't say anything about the environment or pollution, or earth, fire, wind, water, or heart. (Is heart an element? The fifth element?)

It reminded of some marketing research I came across a few years ago which surveyed parents on the whining, pouting, and tantrum behaviors in their children, and how the parents responded to it. The survey was framed in such a way that you would think it was about children's behavior and parent disciplinary responses. What the parents didn't know is that the data was being collected for Mattel, or some other huge toy company, to be used by their advertising and promotions department.

"What is the breaking point for parents, and how can we more effectively market to children to get them to whine, complain, and tantrum their parents to their breaking point more consistently so that our sales increase?"

They were changing their marketing strategy to specifically target children toward getting them to more effectively manipulate their parents into making decisions that the parents wouldn't make if they weren't under duress.

So, that's what this lady made me think of as she stood there for minutes at a time, completely mute until some elementary-aged kids walked by. And then, she only ever addressed the children. The only "sale" she got was someone who seemed less interested in environmental preservation than getting some affirmation that he was indeed a "good father." What was that about?

After awhile I got bored with it, grabbed a beer, and watched the game.

We won!!!!