Kids Should Eat Whatever They Want For Dinner!

What-evah!!!

You want ice cream? Ok.
Mashed potatoes and jelly beans? Sure.
Gravy? Just a cup of gravy? If that's what you want.

Why should kids eat whatever they want? Well so that they can get these strange craving out of their systems and develop an appetite for healthy meals.

What did I eat for dinner tonight? Cheerios! With dried raspberries, blueberries, and strawberries!!! MMMmmmmm-mHm!

Here's how my internal dialogue went:
"Damn! I want some jelly beans!! I can't eat jelly-beans for dinner....cookies? Ooohh...cookies... cookies are...CHEERIOS!!!!!!!!"

So, I ate flavored sugar for dinner tonight. You wanna know who I blame? My mom. (She's gotta have broad shoulders or the ability to let my bullshit just roll off and keep it moving.) All those years of, "Eat your vegetables." Or, "no dessert until after you eat your dinner."

Now, mind you, I don't have any children, but I know that these tactics are pretty-much bullshit. They create unnatural cravings, and irrationally intense desires. When we are young children with super-charged metabolisms, we need pure sugar. That's why we crave it. And if we are allowed to satiate those natural desires we will develop age-appropriate developmental cravings/appetites as we age. When I was a baby I needed a pacifier; really a fake nipple, but I felt uncomfortable framing it that way. Since I got a pacifier when it was developmentally appropriate, I was able to move forward. If I hadn't you may have seen me suck my thumb later in life. Today, adults that you see with pacifiers are telling you one of two things:

1. I'm developmentally delayed because my stage-appropriate desires were neglected at critical points during my development.
2. I'm on X.
3. 1 and 2 need not be mutually exclusive

So, why did I just eat sugar bomb cereal for dinner? Uhm cuz my parents were incompetent and made me eat protein/carbs/vegetables every night for dinner.

(Please don't think any less of them. They did the best that they knew how to do.)

UPDATE:

I just got out the shower and remembered that I ate a TON of candy as a little kid. It was not uncommon for me to have a soda next to my bed. Or worse, to be sitting in bed eating candy right before I fell asleep. (Did you know that if you go to sleep with a jolly rancher in your mouth it will not melt overnight? Pretty fucking cool, huh?) Yeah- and in 3rd grade I couldn't figure out why I wasn't waking up with raspberry jolly rancher breath. (Raspberry is the BEST JR flavor!)

So, I just wanted to take a moment to update and revise my blog.

Please do not allow your children to eat copious amounts of sugar. Monitor and regulate the sweets, and if at all possible, don't let them eat candy. It creates an unnaturally intense craving for sugar that they will not be able to shake even well into their adult lives. If you can learn anything from me, please! Keep monitor what your children eat, and keep them on a well-balanced and nutritious diet.

I just ate sugar bomb cereal for dinner. Why? Because my parents did not monitor my eating habits as a child and I would sneak candy into my bedroom.

(Please don't think any less of them. They did the best they could.)