Ich hat 8 jahre in Deustchland gewohnen. Warum spreche ich Deutsch nicht? Scheiße!!!


This blog is a space where I've given myself permission to express my thoughts as they come to me without the pressure to clean them up, or translate them for anyone's benefit; just my naked thinking showing up as text on screen. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes poignant, sometimes absurd; kinda like me.

Three things you need to keep in mind as you read my posts:

1.) I have extremely sexy eyebrows.
2.) I didn't handpick all of those videos to the right. I love Adam Curtis, and this was my YouTube compromise.
3.) I like semicolons; I think they're fun!

Friday, April 11, 2008

I LOVE KEV!!!!


I love Kev so much that I'm going to learn how to make friendship bracelets and give him one. (Anyone know some middle-school kids who can teach me how to do this?)


I have a friend. His name is Kevin. I call him Kev, because I don't like to say big words.


I absolutely love Kev. Now, mind you, Kev is an asshole. He was an asshole long before I met him, and I suspect that he will be an asshole all the way through his dying breath. Perhaps a more generous way to say that is that Kev is direct and honest- he doesn't mince words and you always know what he means. I love Kev. In fact, I adore him.


I want to marry him and have his babies!! (And then ask him, what were we thinking. You know I'm a lesbian, right?) And then maybe stay married, you know, for the kids. And by "kids" I mean tax-incentives.


So, I've had a pretty impressive week. A mind-numbingly shocking week. A "whose life is this again?!?!?!" week. And, I sent out the latest, "look at this crazy opportunity that google-mapped its way to my door!" e-mail to a couple of folks. (Sometimes, not all the time certainly, but sometimes opportunities in life will hunt you down. (like that crazy guy in Prison Break...freak.))

So, I sent out my shocked/astonished e-mail and Kev says to me, "Get over yourself and gloat bitch."

Plus he's super fucking smart! It's like a cool breeze on a hot summer day to have a smart friend hang out with me in the depths of assholeishness. (Maybe "bowels" is a better word-choice there?) We laugh until we cry! And nobody ever thinks, "Damn! You're a fucked up person." Mostly we just think, "Damn! I can't believe you fucking said that! That shit is hilarious!" "OMG, you really just said that—out loud!"

All of my super-tight friends growing up were assholes- or at least I wish they were. Now, don't go feeling bad about yourself if you're not an asshole like me and Kev. I can still love you, and we can hang out, and watch PG-13 movies, and play scrabble or whatever. [Good times] But the bestest? My favoritist? Super-tight? Assholes. I love 'em.

So, Kev. Man! I love you! What are you you doing this weekend? Wanna make some babies and then watch Logo?
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