PhDs are Dumb!

The nouns I mean; persons, places, and things.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to call someone or something "dumb" a few years ago. I say that things are dumb a lot. (I can't remember if I've written about this already. I feel like I have. Hmmm...)

So, when people call something "dumb" or "stupid", all they are actually saying is that they would have preferred that you'd done it differently. Further, they believe that you should have known anticipated that preference, and would like you to feel shame and/or embarrassment over it. That's all that it means to call something dumb; my preferences were not met. It takes the sting out of it when I look at it that way. I didn't act in accordance with someone's preferences. (That's gonna keep happening.)

Also, it's a nice check when I'm frustrated with someone else's "stupidity". They just aren't acting in keeping with my preferences. Uhm... that's gonna keep happening.

So, PhD programs... They're dumb.

They're dumb mostly because I want them to be something that I took care of in my twenties. They're dumb because it took me a long and meandering road to figure out what/how I wanted to plug into my career as an academic. They're dumb because they don't have an expedited path for folks like me when we feel like we need to learn as much as possible as quickly as possible and get on with our lives!!!!!

PhDs are dumb because I feel old.

PhDs are dumb because I have fewer and fewer opportunities to be "the youngest..." to accomplish something, so maybe I'm left with trying to pull off blazing speed. "No one has ever completed a PhD in 11 months before!"

Also, PhDs are dumb because they isolate you, bash your brains about, and then spit you out into a pool of socially awkward academics who are used to being able to have other people feel bad about themselves, assuming that they must be the awkward ones since Dr. Suchandso is just so intelligent. Smart? yup. Socially awkward too.

I'm remembering that I started a PhD about 4 years ago. It was the least challenging degree of my academic career, so it felt like a waste of time. I walked away after a year.

So, I don't think I actually want a fast-track PhD, or I would have just snatched up that one. I guess I just feel old, and I'm used to being on the other side of the learning curve.

Maybe I'll go date an older woman and feel better about myself.