I Have Brain Damage

Cerebral cortex.

Frontal Lobes.

Seat of cognition.

Responsible for higher order, and abstract thinking.

I have brain damage.

It came from a car accident several years ago. Initially the neuropsychologist thought it may be just bruising from a severe concussion. Nope. Lasting damage.

When he closed out my file, or perhaps more appropriately, the last time I went to see him, he told me, "You're smart. You're very smart. You will always be smart. But, if you were a musician, before you would have been a virtuoso; now you'll just be 'very good'. Most folks won't be able to tell. Most folks will never know unless you tell them, but you will. Things that come very easily for you now will take work. Some things that you can do now, you won't be able to do anymore. You'll have to learn to think differently."

I'm still blazingly intelligent. For real, I'm really smart. But, I do have to work now in places that I didn't before. And, sometimes, for no apparent reason, my brain just decides that it's done. Jams up. No more thinking for awhile. No matter how hard I try to force it, nothing will happen until my brain has "rested".

One place that I cannot think well, no matter what I try is airline travel. I don't know what time to leave for the airport. I know, it sounds like an assisted living conversation, but I honestly have no idea when to leave for the airport.

I've had too many close calls (including having the airline open the doors for me so that I could board because the plane hadn't pulled away from the gate yet), and I'm tired of OJ Simpsoning my way through the airport. So, I plan for 2 hours before my flight. Better safe than sorry.

But, I still don't know what time to leave for the airport.

I just can't think there.

I have to write it down, think backwards, factor in transportation time, getting dressed time, looking for things that I've forgotten time, I always get it wrong. Luckily, you don't actually need two hours, so even when I fuck up, I still make my flights.

Yesterday, I had an 8am flight; absolutely had to make it, next flight was not an option.. For days I tried to figure out what time to leave for the airport.

Finally, the night before, I set my alarm for 6:30 am, so that I could leave the house by 7. (Uhm, bad idea!!) I didn't realize until 7:02 that I should be at the airport already. But, I just moved, and I don't remember how to get to the airport!

So, I speed around town lost; going in the wrong direction. Words... words...words...
Get to the airport and it's time for my flight to board. Of course there's a line to the ticket counter. Just as I'm preparing to ask for special treatment, I spot an automated agent!!!

Print out my boarding pass, and sprint to the security checkpoint. 3 people in line ahead of me. 3!!!!

HELLLZZZZ YEAH!!!!!

So, I get through the to the other side, run to my terminal, and I have 5 minutes to sit down and catch my breath before they start boarding.

Thank you Baby Jesus!