Must Be Nice...

Or, "Damn, White Lady!"




So, we had someone retire today after 20+ years with the company. We had a small reception for her in one of the rooms upstairs, and the catering company brought small desserts and ice cream to go with her big ass "Happy Retirement" sheetcake.


Cool.


So, we're standing around chit-chat small talking and I notice that there are plenty of people that I don't know in the room. So, I ask, "Olga, did you work in a different department before you were here?" She did, in fact longer than she worked with us. So my guess was that that's where all these folks must be from.


Up walks one of them, "Hi, I'm Mattias, I work in Olga's old department." Aha- I have assumed correctly.

And, then up walks these two white women, each with plates overflowing with food. They walk over and join our chat, and after a few minutes I hear this:

"Hey Olga, I'm Gabriella, and this is my friend Adelle. Nice to meet you."


WHAT?!?!?!? These bitches came down to someone's retirement reception, loaded up plates full of food, and then just in case there was any confusion, and Olga thought she may have just forgotten who they were, they went over and introduced themselves to her! I mean damn white lady! Is that what life looks like outside of racial oppression. You get to be that damned relaxed about shit.


"Hey, Becky I could use some sugar, looks like there's a retirement reception. Let's go get some food."





Plates loaded down!


I just couldn't see anybody I know pulling that shit, and then to have the audacity to throw off mendacity, and walk straight up to the person retiring, and introduce yourself and your sidekick. What?!?


First of all, if I convinced someone Black to come with me to someone's retirement reception that we didn't know, there would be some discussion about any ramification on our career, we would consider when the next performance review is coming up and the strength of our last review. Has anyone we know even crashed a retirement celebration at the company? "How did you find out? Was it a general announcement? If it was a general announcement, then surely it must be okay for anyone to show up." All of this would be necessary to pump ourselves up to crash a part at work. At work, where we pick up our check to keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies.


So, let's say we go. Fuck it, let's go chile.


No one needs to say anything, but here is the plan:

1. Hang Tight. I'm looking out for you, and you're looking out for me.
2. Act Natural. Don't do anything that will draw attention to us or make anyone question whether we should be here.
3. Find out as quickly as possible who the guest of honor, and avoid them like they have the Bird Flu.
4. Make a quick and eventless exit.

Did I mention that their plates were loaded down? And with all this shit in their hands they came over, interrupted the conversation, and introduced themselves. Of course we talked about them after they walked away.

They hung out at the reception for awhile. When I was heading out myself, I passed Gabriella at the table loading up another plate. My face must have communicated what I was thinking, because she said, "Oh, I'm just making a plate to take home to my kids." I smiled and kept walking, but I thought to myself, "Damn, white lady- It must be nice..."