Black Irish

I'm not Black Irish, or Black German for that matter, but I am a Black woman who grew up in Germany. I remember when I moved to the States at 18 to go to university (just kidding, I say "college") that I had to endure a culture shock that reverberated through every molecule of my being. It shifted my hair, my speech, my clothes, my shoes, and most importantly my sense of who I was. I entered into a state of psychological homelessness, when after years of living abroad, I had finally returned "home".

"I didn't know there were Black Germans!"

"Wow! You...speak...very...good...English!"

[confused silence]

These were the responses that taught me to stop saying that I was from Germany, even though it was the only place I'd lived since elementary school. It was where my family would live for another two years. It was where I went for Christmas break, and summers. It was where I bought all my clothes, and the country listed as my address on my international driver's license.

But, now I was going to school in "The States!"

So, I had to learn how to be Black in America. As an adult woman, who had a strong sense of self, and had been celebrated; I had to learn to be Black in America. It has given me a unique insight into racism and other forms of oppression in the US. I have devoted countless years to understanding American racism, some of them through formal academic research; some of them through the work of maintaining interpersonal connections through the pain of contention, strife, and misunderstandings; and some of them through the application of transformative systems theory techniques in the form of grassroots community organizing in the political sphere.

Plus, I'm pretty smart on top of being really observant.

So, I have lots of thinking. And, quite honestly, I stopped thinking (at least the higher order sort) about 6 or 7 years ago. Typically I only give my mind the space to explore and make connections when I'm procrastinating. So, maybe my posts will be sporadic and disjointed. Maybe I'll enjoy the practice of recording and cataloguing my thoughts, and this will become something that other folks will enjoy reading. (Notice the regional vernacular marker? Guess where I'm from now.)

I don't know what this blog will become, other than a space for me to give myself permission to express my thoughts as they come to me without the pressure to clean them up, or translate them for anyone's benefit. Sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, sometimes absurd.

Kinda like me.