It's Been A Long Time

I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to. (I know Rakim says something different, but since 1988 I've thought that these would be better lyrics.)

So, I haven't been here in awhile. Why? Racism.

Sounds crazy, but succinct truth often is.
There are lots of things that I don't like about racism, but for today, here's just one:

I don't like the way that racism sets up Black people and hems us up in, damned if you do/damned if you don't situations, but when shit comes crashing in on us we get blamed for not having done something different.

Let's take a workplace scenario. Imagine that you are a super-smart black lesbian being managed by some white guys. Regardless of the position that you occupy, imagine that the manager senior to you is a white guy. (So far, this should be fairly easy.)

Now, let's add in that you are much smarter than your manager. I don't mean that you hate on your boss, but that you can track his reasoning, see the flaws and inefficiencies, and perform most, if not all, of his job functions better than he could. (Now, this may start to become a stretch until you remember that there is no dearth of white guys in senior-level positions that leave you wondering, "How the fuck did you get this job, but more importantly, why haven't you been fired?)

Now, here's where things get complicated. Your boss, the white guy, notices that you are hyper-competent, and starts giving you assignments and responsibilities that are his. In essence, he starts trying to get you to do his job. Unfortunately, this is often just the nature of business and promoting people beyond their ceiling of competence, but here is where racism makes things complicated, because you may already be in a no-win situation.

You have a senior-level white guy relying on a subordinate black person to perform aspects of his job that he can't perform. Sounds like the makings of a set-up. Initially, they are small tasks, but as you are successful, the significance and import of the tasks is ratcheted up. And, when you have an incompetent manager, these are not projects that you collaborate on, you are completing these projects for them. So, what does that mean? It means that your success is not a bridge to advancement and recognition, but rather an ever-widening exposure to increased exploitation. That's the alignment that racism is seeking; a white superior taking full credit for the accomplishments of a black subordinate.

But, here's the rub. Your boss resents that you can accomplish things that he can't, and that's a problem.

So, here's the trap:

1.) You complete the project.

You do it well. And, you exceed expectations. You now have a boss who is glad that their work is done, is pissed that you were able to do it, and becomes hypercritical of your other efforts. It shows up as unnecessary resistance and obstinance; seemingly out of nowhere. Just needing to assert their dominance (over the person that they told to do their job for them).

2.) You don't complete the project.

Denied the resources and support required to complete a project beyond your pay-grade, as no one is suppose to know that you are doing it, you do not successfully complete the project. Oh! Hell to pay!! The response from your boss is resentment on steroids.

3.) You refuse the project.

After some of 1, and the beginning of 2, I thought that declining a project was in my best interest (wrong!). It seemed to me that highlighting how much other work I had to do, and that the project didn't seem like a good fit, and politely declining would be a super-smart way to get out of this cycle. Wrong. This path seems to bring more hostility that 1 and 2 combined. I actually had my manager say to me, "I did not ask you to take on this project, and it was unprofessional for you to attempt to do so. However, now that you are not going to do it, could you please explain to me exactly what you would have done, because I don't know how to do it."

Essentially, my white manager asked me to do his boss' (a black woman) job for our division, and when he started to catch heat over what I was doing he lied, said that he had no idea why but he would "take care of it," reprimanded me, and then asked me to explain to him how to do it. (My mind is still reeling from that one!)

So, there is much more that could be said here, and lots of open ideas that have yet to be explicated, but my brain is just tired. Maybe I'll come back to it.